The missing restroom

Last Friday, we visited several communities where CCM Tete wants to begin a food security pilot project with sand dams. Prior to visiting the communities, we stopped at the local administrative post to talk with the Permanent Secretary about the project. After our meeting was over, I asked one of the office staff if they had a restroom that I could use. She replied that it was locked and the person who had the key wasn’t there. So, our gracious hosts of CCM volunteered to stop at a local bar so I could use the restroom.

We drove a bit, parked our cars in front of the bar and they went in to ask about the facilities. The patron of the bar showed them the restroom but when they asked for the women’s restroom, he replied the restroom wasn’t appropriate for “senhoras”.

In the same breath, he told them that he had crocodiles out back and would they like to see them. So we all trailed behind him to see these crocodiles. Sure enough, there in a pen, the size of my parent’s living room, were three crocodiles. Not only did we see them, the man, then jumped over wall and started slapping the one crocodile to make it wake up and move. It didn’t move and we all marveled that the crocodiles were happy in this pen filled with dust without any water. The man said that crocodiles are amphibians and so they can just as easily live without water as in water. That’s one way to look at it.

He then told us that he had a snake and took us to see it. Up the steps, across the balcony, we followed him to see this snake. He opened the door to the room and there sitting, curled up on the window sill in the sun was a big, fat, yellow snake. I guess the man wanted us to see it’s head, because again, he hit it to wake it up. This time instead of not reacting like the crocodile did, the snake hissed. We all looked at the snake, looked at each other and walked back across the balcony, down the steps and into the bar, where there was not a bathroom appropriate for senhoras. We got in our cars to drive away and just as we were about to leave, the man ran out and handed Joél a photograph of him (the man) and the crocodiles.

I never did find a bathroom, until I used a latrine in the first community. And thankfully there weren’t any snakes or crocodiles waiting for me in it.