Land and Envorinmentla Rights

For many, environmental issues seem to be the enemy, though I understand why one thinks that, but it is also complicated depending on politics and many factors. I grew up, environmentalism was the enemy of farmers, or so it seems. I have been trying to think about how to explain what goes on in many countries, and specifically in Honduras in a way that would make sense to me when I was a young boy in Shickley, Nebraska, a farm boy.

I think I would tell myself to imagine this scenario:

Imagine the farms you have had for generations in the peaceful community. Your families are intact, you celebrate the seasons, the community is whole. Slowly, or suddenly, big co-corporations and rich landowners begin buying the land upstream from your farms and taking all the water from the irrigation ditches, leaving only harmful chemicals down-stream. If you are in a forested area (Nebraska is not), imagine all the trees cut down, the roots that hold the soil taken away, the soil erodes, the water runs downstream instead of sinking into the ecosystem. All the while this is going on, the government is receiving payments from these corporations and people and looking the other way. They never asked your permission. Imagine this being supported by governments in foreign lands leaving you powerless to protect your own land. Imagine it turning worse, the government starts selling your land to those corporations and rich land-owners. They say they are improving the community and making the country modern. They say it is good for business and the economy. You begin to be frustrated. You raise your voice, that the land is being destroyed, you can't grow crops, you can’t feed your family, people begin to distrust each other,  and the community is broken. Your land is being taken away…………………………………….. Imagine that their response is to kill you.



What if by writing this, I am killed.



This is the reality for many in Honduran farmers. This is a root of migration. Farmers uprooted, leaving to the city, to the shantytowns. In the shantytowns they are murdered by gangs. Their wives and children leave to the U.S. and Canada, hoping for relief and compassion. They are turned away, returned, murdered in their own country. What if it happened in our land? If it happened to us, to our land, to our food, trees, water? Do we feel the pain of others?

Jesus asks this question in the parable of the good Samaritan. How far does our love go for us? How far will we go for others? This thought scares me, challenges me. God give me grace.

Four months

Time moves at a strange pace during transitions...rapidly and yet super slow. It seems like we have been here for a long time.  The weeks fly our schedules get busier and it seems like there is no time to make cookies for Christmas or write an email to a friend (or a blog post). And yet when I lay awake at 3am thinking of all I need to do, the minutes tick slowly by until my alarm goes off and I am greeted by Google's "Good morning, Jenny, the time is 4:45AM and it is (whatever temperature) in San Pedro Sula" realizing that somewhere in the midst of the swirling thoughts, I drifted back to sleep. When we do the math, we have been in Honduras four months. Four. Months. That's all. But a super full four months.

July: We landed in Honduras after a full three and half weeks of orientation to MCC in Akron, Pennsylvania. We talked about MCC's philosophy of work, trauma-informed approaches, Planning, Monitoring, Evaluating of projects, supervision of staff, personality temperaments, and more. We left Akron feeling tired, heads full of what we learned and tried to absorb, thinking that it was like drinking from a fire hose (Joel liked to say). 

Joel and kids in front of the Mayan ruins in Copan Ruinas

August: When we arrived in San Pedro Sula, our Area Directors (ADs) met us at the airport. The next day was a whirlwind of school related errands: the kids taking placement tests, shopping for uniforms and school supplies. Then church on Sunday where we were introduced as the new MCC Representatives. That afternoon, a van picked us up and we drove 3 hours to Copan Ruinas where we
studied Spanish for two weeks. Upon our return to SPS, we met our full team (the SALT and YAMEn participants arrived during our language study). I spent a day with them visiting several local partners; Joel traveled 5 days with them to visit partners at a distance. The kids started school. I learned how to call a taxi and had driving lessons in SPS with our AD.

September: So after three weeks in the country we started orientation for our role. Then we had team meetings with our whole team. It was not as organized as we would have liked, but we have a great team and they really helped to organize it. A week or two later, MCC's Coordinator of Educational Projects came to do an evaluation of one of our partners' projects. We were in the country all of 6 weeks. Joel was chosen to oversee that partner by luck of when we initially were talking about it, I was trying to figure out my role with finances for a Country program.

Joel discussing strategic planning with the Advisory Committee

October: I don't remember? Continued learning the finances, State holidays at the beginning where we took advantage of the kids' time off from school to go to the mountains for a few days, continued discussion of the partner evaluation. Figuring out how and when to visit other partners; succeeded in visiting two outside of SPS. Detailed planning for the MCC Central America Regional Retreat hosted by MCC Honduras. Joel and I also met with the Advisory Board to discuss strategic directions for MCC Honduras.

Thanksgiving at our house

November: Is a blur (told you time was warped). It started with a bang...hosting the MCC Honduras-Guatemala Migration Learning Tour at our house for an evening. Thankfully it was catered and all we had to do was rearrange the furniture to have 22 people-13 from the learning tour and then all the MCCers in/around SPS at our house and come up with a presentation about MCC Honduras. Our super helpful Connecting People's Coordinator was then gone for the rest of the month connecting peoples as he led the learning tour around Honduras and accompanied them to Guatemala, visiting projects and partners working on migration. Meanwhile, those left in the office focused quite a bit on the remaining details for the Regional Retreat, hosted two guys from MCC IT and continued to try to figure our our role as Reps. The Regional Retreat was pleasant; not very retreat-y for us but was really great to see friends from orientation eons ago and connect with other reps in the region. At retreat, three lovely Honduran women watched the kids. They joined us when we hosted Thanksgiving for MCCers around SPS the following weekend. And because the kids' school celebrated Thanksgiving and had Black Friday off, we were able to visit another partner.

Church choir

December: The hosting is continuing. It started with a MCC auditor coming and helping us understand more about finances with partners and MCC systems. Ironically, he knew my dad at EMC. That same week, Joel's parents came to visit and are here for 10 days. They have lovingly taken care of us...every dish is washed, dried and put away (usually dishes are washed then drip dry in the drying rack), inventory of MCC belongings of our house is done and they have done Christmas shopping. Saturday is our team Christmas that will hopefully include a hike to the CocaCola sign above SPS. Joel and our daughter joined the Christmas choir at church. And our son lost three of his baby teeth.The tooth fairy has found him in Honduras.

It's been a full four months. The Rep position is one that people say will take a year. I believe it. I am so thankful we have a good team of MCCers who have welcomed us, answered our zillion questions about Honduras, Spanish, MCC and everything else. We have Area Directors who have a wealth of experience in MCC and know the context very well. We have family who are supportive. We have WhatsApp to inform us of what's going on at school, ask questions about homework, see photos of the kids' parties. And when parents find out we are new to the country, they are always willing to answer whatever question we have about how to do things and respond to our thanks with "A la orden. Bendiciones" Literally, "At the order. Blessings" but more like "It was my pleasure to help you.Blessings."

Things I like here

We've been in Honduras for three months. I keep finding things that make me smile and remind me how I like living in another country. In random order, here are some of those things:

A rainbow after the rain

• Fresh bananas
• Learning another language
• Palm trees
• Learning to drive differently, more attentively, slower yet learning the traffic patterns-thankfully have not had an accident
• Kids talking about their days and their thoughts as we drive to and from school 
• Seeing bumper to bumper traffic on top of the bridge and a herd of cattle on the underpass as I make a left hand turn (they have underpasses to avoid making left hand turns across traffic).
• Rainbows after or during the rain
• Seeing the mountains with the clouds hanging over them. 
• Cooking on a gas stove again
• The neighbor who sets out food every morning just before 6:00AM for whatever cats are hanging around her garage doors
• Cafecita - literally "little coffee": used as a time around a table with people drinking tea or coffee with a small snack (usually sweet) 
  
• Being in communication with friends, family and coworkers from around the world via WhatsApp
• Space to walk around my neighborhood in the mornings before we take the kids to school
• Plaintains
• The refreshing rains of the rainy season
• MCCers baking-we have several great bakers on the team
• Seeing how MCCers who have been here longer than we have, have good supports and enjoy their positions and living here
• Song projections in church-it's sorta like closed captioning. And without knowing the words or having a hymnal, it's the way we can sing along 
• Monthly communion in church as a way to connect with Christians from around the world and throughout the ages to celebrate Jesus' life, death and resurrection. 
• Horse carts driving along side motorcycles, bicyclists and cars on busy streets

  

  Cows crossing under the bridge while traffic is backed up on top of the bridge
• Buskers at the intersections-some are quite good-juggling machetes or flaming balls of fire
• That Google maps work so I can find my way around town
• Our kids making friends with children at school
• xJoel and the kids finding space in our street after supper to kick the soccer ball while I read 
• Seeing iguanas and geckos

Iguana on the side of a gas station wall

Visit with the Organizations MCC Honduras Supports

Tegucigalpa from our Hostel

Tegucigalpa

Our SALT/YEMEN Group

Tegucigalpa Mennonite Church

Last week as part of the SALT and YAMEN orientation we traveled to various parts of the country to visit several of the organizations that we support in this country. I was fortunate enough to go along and to meet our partner organizations and to experience some of there work.

We traveled two hours to Siguatepeque where MCC supports a Christian organization with a project creating and supporting initiatives to allow for victims to declare when there is domestic violence. In a country where Machismo is very strong and where sexual violence is common, there are so many barriers to people coming forward.  We witnessed how the organization advocates for the rights of people, builds accountability and transparency in community and government structures, offices, police force and schools, and makes sure people are aware of their rights when victims and how they can access resources.

Tilapia Fish Tanks

Seedlings Fertilized by Tilapia Poop

Kara's host mom

We then traveled to Tegucigalpa where we visited a children’s school where one of our SALTers, Kara, will be placed. We heard from the daughter of the founders who had encouraged her parents to do something about the children of trash collectors in the city dump. It is an amazing story of how they have built this school and day center for kids to come during the day where it is safe and where they have the opportunity to learn. They are wanting to expand to include technical training so they have options to leave the life of a trash collector since many generations just cycle back to the same life. We saw tilapia raising tanks and vegetable production which is an experiment in income generation and teaching resource for children. We saw the multiple buildings with names of the churches who had built them in the ‘brigadas’ (brigades), their name for short term mission groups that come to Honduras.

Keyla's Host Family

View from their home in mountains outside of Teguc

Water Storage Tanks: they get water once a month on city system

We also visited a larger organization in central Teguc where our YAMENer will be working. They are working for justice for the ‘least of these’ in education, health and government systems. For many poor the systems do not work, they are corrupt and they don’t have access, teachers do not show up for class and there is political influences and organized crime which affects their functioning. The organization we visited is concentrated in calling accountability to the government to follow the laws, to provide universal education, health and policing, and is working in the system to make it more transparent, cycle out corrupt workers and doing advocacy with parents and communities so they have a voice to demand that the government do what it is supposed to do. This is a tricky dance because we have Christian organizations that work at this in different ways and some do not agree with working so closely with what they see as a proven corrupt government and are calling for a distance from government and a change in leadership and corrupt laws. This includes a lot of partner sand churches with which we work, so it is not easy work. But there are different ways of working for the ‘least of these’ and organizations are approaching it differently.

Dam for Piped Water

Conservation Agriculture: Second Growing Season

Drying Corn

Grain for Food Storage

Finally, we visited the Brethren in Christ church (anabaptist and related to Mennonites) and their work with farmers in the south. We heard from them how climate change is affecting their lives over the last ten years. How the first or the two rainy seasons has all but disappeared and they are struggling to adapt. They are encouraging farmers in conservation agriculture, providing metal storage containers, introducing drought and disease resistant crops, constructing water capture systems (dams, piping) and organizing farmer savings groups to provide local savings and loan systems for the families and communities. What was most interesting to me was how they have to negotiate rich landowners who have control over the water that they need for household use and who own all the farmland and how vulnerable they are. It is a risk because advocating for land rights in Honduras is a death sentence since it is controlled by the rich, govt and organized crime. It is also influenced by global companies, and in their case, a Canadian gold mining company who through a govt contract (possibly illegal) has purchased the mountain and forest above their communities and whose activities would destroy the land and water from which they derive their very survival. I was amazed by the courage they have in confronting such issues in the name of Christ, the persecution they face and how they go into gang-controlled neighborhoods and plant churches everywhere they go. I was also challenged in that they have not lost the peace witness that we have in the North American church, it is front and center in their mission to be Jesus in this place.

Welcome to our YALTers (SALT and YAMEN program)

It has been a while since we have written on the blog. We have been busy throughout the last couple of weeks. We spent two weeks in Copan working on Spanish. We were able to take advantage of that time to meet some people at the hostel we stayed at and to see several of the parks in the areas including the ruins of Copan and the bird park that had toucans, parrots, parakeets and macaws.

We returned home to San Pedro Sula to welcome our new group of Salt and Yamen participants.

For those who do not know. Serving And Learning Together (SALT) is MCCs program for younger participants from Canada and the U.S. The idea is that they come for a year and are seconded to work for a local organization, live in a host family and participate in team activities throughout the year. In some ways it is like an internship or Peace Corp with the idea that they will serve but also learn. We believe at MCC that learning about another culture, engaging in local mission and the church and living with the people builds understanding and builds for peace. I would add to that, that where one or two are gathered, there God is, and we gather believers from different parts of the world to serve together, a little taste of what the many tribes gathered will look like in God’s new world. Young Anabaptist Mennonite Exchange Network (YAMEN) is almost identical to SALT but is for people coming from countries outside of the U.S. and Canada. This year we have on YAMEN participant from Columbia and two from the U.S. (Baltimore and Boulder). We also have sent, a participant (a doctor) to Guatemala to serve with MCC there. We also have a third program IVEP, which is a one-year program that takes people form outside of U.S and Canada and places them in host stays and volunteer work in the U.S. and Canada. We have a coordinator for the program in this country who gives oversight to the program and helps participants work through the application process, works with in country organizations we partner with to place participants and find host families.

The participants have been in orientation over the past week, learning how to ride the min-buses, catch taxis, know where things are and learn a bit about culture and living in Honduras. This week we are traveling to visit partners in various places in Honduras, so they have an idea of what MCC does. One person will be placed in our office to give oversight to external and internal communications which means gathering stories for MCC and our face book page and MCC and working at communicating to our constituency within the country. Another person will be placed with a school that is a day center and school for children from families who work in the trash dump in Tegucigalpa. The other one will work with an organization fighting for justice for communities to access schooling, education and reduce corruption in the public sector. They are excited and ready to be involved. They all have some Spanish already but will also have two weeks of language study before starting their jobs.

Copan and Lanuage School

Macaw Mountain Park

I was thinking today that there will probably be many pictures of us having fun at some really fascinating places. Honduras is a small country but it has great beauty but also great poverty as we witnessed on our way from San Pedro Sula to Copan for our Spanish language study. Some may say that we don't tough it out like missionaries used to or that it seems like we are on vacation most of the time (I have heard that said of other missionaries). The reality is, however, that most of us take pictures when we are having a good time and that is often when we are traveling or on vacation. This is true of us in the states. So if you should think that we are having a good time, we are, but we are also working as well. But we do want to show you the highlights of life here because we often don't see that in the news. So we will show you some highlights. But know we are also working as well. These two weeks we are in Copan Ruinas, where the Mayan ruins are located near the Guatemalan border. We are here for language study. The climate is cooler and the town is safe and peaceful, yet vibrant with life. It has colonial buildings with tile roofs in the Spanish style. Today we went to see a refuge and sanctuary for macaws, other parrots and toucans, castaways from people who no longer wanted them as pets. We spent the morning walking through forest along a stream mixed with coffee plants and pens where they are kept. Apparently once they are adults they can no longer fly because they have been in cages. The hope is that there children will be able to do so and be released to the wild.

The Language School on the third story of a building

But besides the fun, we are in language study. This means four hours for each of us with an individual teacher in the afternoon. Our brains work hard and we are tired by the end of it. But they are great teachers, friendly and compassionate and we laugh a lot. I am so impressed by the school. We are getting a good education and I know this is important.

Party for Dona Elena (Center under light)

Tonight we celebrated the birthday of the lady who owns our B&B, Dona Elena. She is such a kind and caring soul and she cooks amazing food three times a day with help from a few other ladies. The amazing thing is that both our lodging and the Spanish school business are owned and run by women. I think that is so neat in a very 'macho' country. We celebrated with cake, soda and singing with the full moon over our heads.

Helpful Links

For those of you who will be following us I want to make sure that I clarify that this space is going to for a reflection of our life as a family in Honduras, what we are thinking about, experiencing and learning. However, this may not have as much about our actual work with MCC. It is important that we communicate such stories through MCCs websites in order to maintain integrity both for ourselves and for our partners. For those of you who are interested in the work we are doing I would suggest that you connect to our MCC Honduras Facebook Page for info about service workers, partners and MCC work in Honduras. Or, you can read about work in the Latin America region at MCC LACA (Latin America/Central America)

Second Week of Orientation is Over

Today ends the second week of our orientation at Mennonite Central Committee. We are tired. At least our minds are. This was programs week. There were a lot of sessions helping us to understand how to do MCC programming, from financial, planning, to PME&R seminars, how to conduct a focus group or participatory study and how to be aware of issues of gender (looking at how our work affects men, women, boys and girls differently), and how we build peace-building into our project designs and work. This is much needed input, but it is hard to wade through. Thus we are relaxing on the weekend.


Yesterday was filled with goodbyes at the end of the day. Several of our cohort are leaving to their placements including one of the families whose children were a part of our kids lives this week. I have been proud of our kids, how they have jumped right in and how they also take the departures with ease. The family is moving to Bolivia which we will be visiting next spring. Nadia has it as her goal to visit the Andes and specifically Inca ruins. The family said that they know of some places we could visit. This gives our kids some hope for future fun. I look forward to that.


We had a special time last night. We all helped those who were leaving to carry there suitcases up to the vans. They were leaving early in the morning. We spent several hours sitting around talking and telling stories, several persons from India, Ukraine, Canada, Paraguay, US, Zambia, Zimbabwe and others. As each one of us talked we shifted between north American ways of talking and expressing ourselves mixed with that of Africa, India, Ukraine and the other places that have shaped us. We laughed as we talked about our cross-cultural encounters, how we have changed and how we have learned so much. After carrying the suitcases our brother from Zambia, who is a pastor, asked us to hold hands under the starry sky and to say a blessing for those going. I felt transported back to Mozambique where those of higher status were called on to say some words. He called on the Zimbabwean couple who will be Area Directors in southern Africa and then on Jenny and I who will also be in leadership. We gave blessing. He then prayed. It was one of those moments where I felt the holy spirit and the bond of those following Christ together from all over the globe. It was a moment when the New Jerusalem, in Revelation became a reality in that moment, a real taste of what is to come when Jesus returns, an echo of Pentecost. I wanted to stay in that moment forever. I am sure I was not the only one. It reminded me of the painting I had drawn when I was a young boy of 8-9 years old, of Jesus standing with his hands open, with heaven behind him and buildings and persons representing all the peoples of the world together in Christ. Last night, in that moment, it had become a reality……. Jesus, lead on.

Today we are in orientation at MCC and will be so for the next three and a half weeks. It was good to see our children enjoying the activities, meeting new people and learning new things. They seemed to be enjoying themselves. They also have a person who is caring for them who moved to another country when she was herself a young person. She understands and will be talking with the kids about what to expect and how to care for themselves. This is what I like about orientation and what I like about MCC. It is like being with a bunch of people who are on a journey but always mentoring and discipling each other on the way. We are all on different parts of the journey of serving Christ but we can offer each other support and comfort as we serve. To me, this is Christ's body at its best and I can feel God's spirit is present.

Today we heard stories of why people have fallen in love with MCCs work, what it has done for the glory of God and why we do what we do because we follow Christ and his work. We looked over the vision, mission, purpose, priorities and principles in groups. My group was tasked with looking at MCCs priorities which is how MCC carries ot its work in disaster relief, sustainable community development and justice and peace building. It says:

Inspired by the Sermon on the Mount, we seek to follow Jesus in accompanying the poor, those who mourn, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers and those who are persecuted because of righteousness. 

By sharing food with the hungry, extending a cup of cold water to the thirsty, and welcoming the stranger, we join Jesus in participating in the lives of those who suffer. We show our love for others by looking out for their interests and not just our own. 

There was a couple key things that our stuck out to our group that emphasizes what or work is about. It is about participation and accompaniment. In MCC we attempt to participate with others in their suffering, bearing their burdens, not only those we serve, but each others. And in doing so we are changed, we are discipled, and we are drawn more and more to Christ and his likeness, rich, poor, black, brown, white, women, men, children, from every country and nation. I was surprised when I walked into the room to see an equal split between Asian, African, Latin American and North American service workers in the room. It was an amazing diversity of people from many countries all with the conviction of serving Christ. This sends chills down my spine and gives me so much hope. This is the vision in Revelation. This is the holy spirits work. Our work together is not just giving money and resources to those who don't have them. We were challenged in our donor relations session today that when we see the poor as only those who lack resources or the rich as only those who have resources then we diminish their humanity to what they have or don't have and our solutions come down to giving things and money. It is more then that. It is accompaniment, participation, visiting the sick, the hungry, those in war, those fleeing their lands. This is the holistic gospel that Jesus proclaimed and lived.

There will be difficult days ahead for both us and our children.  There will be days I will question this work and our decision. But today I am excited and am sure that God is present in this place and in these people.

Bittersweet

1: Number of shifts Jenny has left to work
2: Number of places we posted furniture online to sell. (Some has sold quickly-rototiller and park bench within hours, some we are still waiting to sell-kitchen table, sofa.)
3: Number of days Joel has left for work
4: Number of driving days to Nebraska and back (2 each way)
5: Number of totes packed with kitchen things (though, haven't packed the pots and pans yet)
6: Number of years Jenny has worked at A Woman's Place
7: Number of VonTrapp children in "The Sound of Music" who sang "So long, farewell!" (Joel and I once wrote lyrics to a co-worker who left Mozambique to this tune.)
8: Number of 50 pound suitcases our family will take to Honduras (plus a back packs for each of us)

This is a week of goodbyes:

• To A Woman's Place, a place of healing and acceptance for those whose family members treat them with power and control instead of love.
• Life as we have known for the past years. The now familiar rhythms of work, school, church and home
• Alice and Kiki, our cats. We got them as kittens 5 years ago and they have been loved by us and our neighbors who greet them on their walks. They will go to another family with children.

L and Kiki

N and Alice

As I have told several people, it feels bittersweet. It is sad to leave; we did not realize we put down so many roots. It's also exciting to go, to return to working with Mennonite Central Committee and learn about Honduras, improve our Spanish, hear new stories. These emotions are normal. If we didn't feel sad or excited, something would be wrong.

He did it!

He did it! It took a lot of perseverance and hard work to do, but Joel finished his Masters in International Development at Eastern University. Graduation was last Saturday, miraculously the only nice day in the midst of rainy days. Over the past two years, he has cheerfully balanced working, internship, family, and church with his studies and he's gotten really good grades on top of it! This past year, he interned at a place called Alianzas, a place for immigrants to feel welcome and receive support. From the stories he told, it sounds like he developed good rapport with his co workers and the people they serve.  It was a good place for him to use what he was learning in class and to prepare for going to Honduras. He also got to use his Spanish and broaden his vocabulary. Even though it was an hour's drive away, he would come home excited about what he did and learned.

Updates

We accepted another term with Mennonite Central Committee. We will be the MCC Representatives in Honduras. We will live in San Pedro Sula, Honduras. In late March, Joel and I went, met the outgoing Reps, met with all the partner organizations and looked at schools for the kids. We will start our 5-year term in July.

MCC works with local organizations and gives them support in helping their communities through grants and service workers. As MCC Representatives (Reps for short), we will be maintaining relationships with the organizations, overseeing MCC service workers and being the representative for MCC with stakeholder churches (in Honduras that is the Evangelical Mennonite Church of Honduras and the Brethren in Christ).

We have spent almost seven years here in Pennsylvania. Joel is graduating (next Saturday!) with his Masters in International Development from Eastern University. He has done a fantastic job balancing on-line studies with home, work and church over the past two years. He has continued working as a Landscape Maintenance Foreman during his studies. I have worked at A Woman's Place as a Resident Counseling Advocate. A Woman's Place is the only domestic violence organization in Bucks County.

Our count down until we go has begun to intensify. Last night, was a going away party/baby shower/graduation celebration for various people at work. I am so blessed and thankful to work with these amazing women. We have a super supportive team who work hard at providing trauma informed services to people (mostly women) experiencing domestic violence. I am really going to miss my friends/co-workers.

Starting kindergarten

Tomorrow, Nadia starts kindergarten. She is super excited. We picked out her clothes and got her snack and water bottle ready. One minute she's practically dancing with excitement to go to school and then during our bedtime story she said she was nervous and then asked me to define nervous. I asked her how she felt and she said a little sad that neither Joel or I could go with her.

It feels incredulous that she's ready to go to school. It's half day kindergarten and (unlike her most of her friends from preschool who live in another school district) she gets to ride the bus one way. So at 8:37 am, we will be standing out on the corner waiting for the bus. At kindergarten orientation last week, they learned about the 'Danger Zone'- a 10 step area around the bus where the driver can't see. She wondered if she will have to go through it to get onto the bus.

Nadia on her 5th birthday in June

Norman Rockwell Painting

Today, as we were finishing our last bites of lunch at our picnic table on our front porch, a guy stopped his car in the middle of the road to tell us that we looked like a Norman Rockwell painting and how lovely our family is. Last week someone told Joel our place looks quaint with two rope swings hanging from the large maple tree and our big garden.

Our live"Normal Rockwell" children

Texts

It's been a year since we left Mozambique and the thing I miss the most are the texts. In Moz it was cheaper to text than to call and anything received didn't go against our pre-paid credit. So texts were often the way we communicated with friends and colleagues. Often I would get a text from a friend that would start a conversation. Sometimes it was serious, sometimes not. Many times the texts were just little things that one of us saw that we wanted to share with someone. For a while I had an on-going conversation about how hot it was. We would write texts to the tune of "You know it's hot when...(you burn your hand on the wall, you tell your sister it's cool at 90F, the hairs on your toes stand up because they don't want to touch each other).

But the texts meant more than the silly conversations. They were a sign of friendship that cared. The friends that we got to know in Moz became family. We shared life together, faith, laughter and tears, tea and meals together. I miss getting together with friends. We haven't found friends with whom we really click like that and sometimes it just aches.

To my friends...

A different reality

For the past six months I've been working at a domestic violence shelter. I answer the hotline, work with the residents of the shelter to find housing, and various administrative tasks around the safe house. I really like it. It is a refreshing change from the vague job descriptions that I had in Mozambique. I like working with the women, feeling like a listening ear makes a difference as well as working for peace. My hours have fluctuated--first part-time then full time because several co-workers left and now they have returned to part time which is better for me and our family. I work three shifts a week--a day shift, an evening shift and an overnight shift. For someone who has always needed a lot of sleep, I can only say it is by God's grace that I am adjusting to the weird hours and not always taking my exhaustion out on my family. I am learning to be more assertive (something I've always struggled with).

I (thankfully) have never experienced domestic violence. I find myself incredulous of the energies people go into to control another person--taking off shower curtains, removing wheels from cars, isolating them from friends and family, restricting what one can wear and the physical and verbal violence. I initially thought that I have lived a fairy tale life. I am now wondering if the life I have lived, in actuality, is what God wants everyone's reality. To live a life surround by love, enveloped in positive encouragement, supported in grace through failure and heartache. My prayer is that Christ's light shines through me to those whom I encounter and gives them a bit of God's all-encompassing love and grace.

A Year

I'm one of those people who remember dates. Saturday marked a year since we landed in the States, having completed our term of service with MCC. How do I summarize the year? We still have little inkling of what we want to do. The year has been about survival--learning how to live in the States again. Finances have been tight. Time has been tight. We miss the laid-back work schedules we had in Moz. We are both processors and we haven't had much time to process because it seems like we keep going just trying to get things done--the dishes, laundry, groceries, spending time with Nadia and Luke and working.

Working. We've been struck by how much Americans work. Joel's first job he worked 60 hours a week and was asked to work more. He changed to a job where he works 4-10+/- hour days and I found a part time job. A part-time job that turned into a full time job, sapping my energy, my sleep and any chance I have for quiet reflection. It was supposed to be 24 hours a week. It's now 38 hours; Joel and I overlap working about 5 hours. I like my job; I just wish it was fewer hours.

Is this what life is in the US? People running ragged to just pay their bills? We have modest bills. Our 'extravagance' is going out for ice cream with our kids once a month. We feel disconnected with people. We miss the family our friends provided to us in Moz (once we found friends, they became family), regularly getting together with friends.

Now that it is warm out, we eat outside on our front porch every chance we get. People going past look on us with smiles that say, 'How charming'. We even have a name for it--Jenny's on the Veranda. I love the view from our porch--our yard, the field beyond and then the small woods. I love watching the wind sway the knee high grass and tickle the far away leaves on the trees. I love the quiet of the space and the green, the expanse and the lack of excess movement.

For the first time in years, we're planting flowers, a vegetable garden. The daffodils, tulips and hiasynths that came up in the spring were welcome colors in the brown dirt. Now we're waiting for daisies, day lilies, sun flowers, zinnias, cosmos, cleome and lavender to bloom. The local farmers market has started up again and what a pleasure it is to buy fresh vegetables in the open air from small vendors. They dote on Nadia--offering fresh peas, strawberries and radishes to try. She tells them we have radishes in our garden already.

Gray

Today I feel like we've been trapped inside of the White Witch's Narnia, though without the snow. It's been gray and cold the past week. I find myself counting the days since I last saw the sun: 7. One time I remember counting gray days was the year I spent in Russia and lost track at 17. Today we have rain just at the freezing point so there's ice on the trees and bushes but puddles everywhere else.

 

It feels like it should be Advent or Lent, a time of dreary waiting. But it's not. I listened to 'O Come, O Come Emmanuel" while I washed the dishes after lunch, as if willing a burst of sunlight to miraculously pierce through the clouds to illumine the ice crystals or spring to unnaturally occur here and now on January 16. It didn't and I was struck by the words of the hymn, how they fit with winter's 'deadness', waiting for spring, longing for Jesus to appear. Then there's the chorus which challenges me when I long to complain yet again about the gray, when the drear threatens to overcome me and make me forget the good things that I have, "Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel". 

I'm reading a book about gratitude.  I've read several over the past several years and each one challenges me to be thankful for more than just the good things but to be thankful for everything. How do I be thankful for the gray? For things that are hard? For things that I don't like? Sometimes, I tell God I'm thankful for the gray in faith, praying that he will help me to appreciate something about the gray and to be truly grateful for it. It's hard. Like trying to rejoice when I'm sick of the clouds. 

In faith

Sometimes I do things in faith. I think that is one of the things that Moz taught me...

I hug my child with whom I am upset with in faith that my love for her is stronger than my anger.

We stayed in Moz even though it was hard, in faith that God was at work and we were part of it.

We settled back in the States where we did, for now, in faith that though, we did not sense God's movement to a particular place, we know that God is with us where ever we go and we will try to serve him.

It reminds me of Hebrews 11 and 12 where the author writes about all the people through the Bible who lived out their lives with faith without seeing its fruition. In some ways its investing in the future and in someways it is, as I read in my Advent devotional, living with "defiant joy" in the midst of suffering, the mundane or the norm. God is at work and we are a part of it even if we don't feel it.

Cold

I missed winter when I was in Moz. I dreamed about feeling cold, wearing sweaters, sleeping under mounds of blankets, eating soup on a cold day not just because that was what I made because it was an easy meal, watching the snow come down, the smell of winter when I leave a warm building in the darkness of the early evening.

Now it's winter and it's COLD. I really think our bodies adjusted some to the heat of Moz. I feel cold alot...frequently wearing 3-4 layers of clothes inside and still feeling cold.  When I go outside for a walk or to take the kids to the park, I feel the cold through my jeans, so I avoid going outside, thus feeling cooped up inside. It doesn't help that it seems like there are more cloudy days than sunny ones.

Don't get me wrong, I do not miss the heat of Moz but I miss the ease of going outside, the sunshine, seeing people on a walk, my sidewalk vendors, flowers year round, fresh bananas for snack, outdoor cafes, fresh croissants (which have nothing to do with warm weather but I miss them). Adjustments...